Red Light

Everything i do is either wrong, or not good enough. I'm stupid. I never share what i really think because, well its either not what everyone else thinks...or wrong. An opinion doesn't mean anything anymore. It's basically an invitation to fight someone. I constantly am trying to be myself and say what i think but i can never let it out...because honestly i would have about 2 friends left. I mean, everyone has things they want to say but don't, But i have more than other people. I've been depressed for approximately 3 days now. I sit in my room and cry and wish i could just force a smile and everything will magically be better. But that's not how it works. There are 2 dominant people in my life in which the following word describes. controlling. These two people make me feel stupid everyday and they don't even realize it. If things aren't exactly the way they want it, or you don't read their mind, they give you this attitude like "Hello! are you retarded?" and i'm sick of it. I actually believe it now. I haven't done much on my own in a few years because i'm always told exactly how to do everything. I'm not confident. at all. I feel as if i'm constantly being judged. being watched. I've always been told what to do. I'm just a lapdog. I don't trust anyone because people are cruel. No matter how good of friends you are, or how long you've known them...people are still mean. but the hard part is that they don't know they do it. but that doesn't mean i don't secretly feel lower than dirt everyday. The only person who can fix it is me. I let people push me around and i'm done. If i'm pushed much farther...i won't have any friends at all. I need a red light........

RED LIGHT

By Emily Proper

I’m doing my best

Just leave me alone

I keep failing your tests

I’m on anger mode

I do what you say

but I’m always wrong

I’m Steering off the track

I’m going the wrong way

CHORUS

Come on, I’m working so hard

Can’t you please, give me a break

I’m doing more than you asked for

and all I feel, is defeat

I need a red light

Make it stop now

I wanna know

what it feels like

to have nothing planned out

or any jobs to do

I feel like I

am on the right track

but then you turn the wheel

and tear it all down

Can’t take it anymore

I need a red light

Soon to be recorded at:

http://www.youtube.com/user/EmilyPlusKatie?feature=mhum